Should Baby Cry Herself To Sleep?

          One of the most touchy topics in Pediatrics is whether or not to allow babies to cry themselves to sleep.  A visiting granddaughter recently showed me that sometimes it is not a question of “whether or not” but it is an issue of “need to”.

     Our granddaughter is 9 months old and is a quiet, easy-going baby who hasn’t ever much needed to cry herself to sleep because she clearly advertises when she is tired - suddenly crabby, rubbing ears, rubbing eyes, not wet and not hungry – and goes down with a minimal amount of rocking and singing. Like most 9 month-olds, she needs both a morning and an afternoon nap.

     On the day in question, she went down for her morning nap in the guest bedroom and after she was asleep, her father joined her for a nap. After she had been asleep for only an hour, his cell phone rang and woke them both up.  Because she was in an unfamiliar environment, she woke up totally and wanted to play.

     Later, she again got tired at the time for her afternoon nap. But her parents were going to a wedding that afternoon. I put granddaughter in the car seat knowing that she was so tired that she would be asleep by the time the car reached the end of the driveway. She was. But when we returned home after dropping off her parents, she woke up again when I took her out of the car seat. Once again, she wanted to be up and play.

     When bed-time rolled around, she was beside herself. She had been awakened halfway through each of her daytime naps and she was beyond exhausted. She cried when we gave her her pacifier, when we tried to rock her, when we picked her up and when we laid her down. She was rubbing eyes and ears and yet could not settle herself – crying and screaming no matter what two frustrated grandparents could come up with. All she knew was that she was miserable and nothing was helping her feel better.

     Finally, even though her parents agree with the “no-crying-to-sleep” school, we put her into the portable crib and closed the door. After ten minutes of loud, tearful protest, all was quiet and she was gratefully asleep. She slept through the entire night and well beyond her normal time to wake up. When she did awaken, she was her happy, normal self.

     When you know a baby is tired, it is time to let them go to sleep. If you find that what you are doing (rocking, holding, walking, etc.) is keeping them awake, it is time to give baby a chance to cry off the extra bit of energy that is keeping them awake and let everyone get some much-needed sleep.