Helping A New Mother

     After you deliver a baby, you get lots of offers for help. There are some you should accept and others you should politely decline.

     Some friends and relatives will come over and, after an appropriate amount of “oohing “and “aahing” will start doing your dishes. They may bring you food or tell you to take a walk in the park while they watch the baby. These are people you want around you. It may be hard to have people doing things for you, but the right people will listen to you when you tell them what you need and don’t need. 
     Some people will come over, hold the baby (as long as he is dry) and hand him back to you if he fusses, throws up or poops They will consider themselves guests and will expect you to wait on them and treat them as guests. Avoid these people.

     Another group in the avoidance category are the people “Who-Know-More-Than-You-Do-About-Babies”. Don’t get me wrong. Advice is a good thing (especially if written in an old pediatrician’s blog), but there are people who are always looking for the Wrong Way you are doing things and are anxious to tell you the Right Way. Included in this group are the people who know the “latest study” which proves that what they have advised will ensure your baby’s entrance into Harvard and what you are currently doing will cause your child to fail kindergarten. This group also includes the people who cause you to feel guilty, even though you don’t exactly know why. Finally, it includes the people who are happy to tell you horror stories about the terrible things that happened to your great-aunt’s baby when auntie turned her back for 5 seconds.

     While on the subject, there are also things you should avoid in the first few weeks after birth. Don’t plan on moving to a new house. Don’t plan on having 50 people over for Thanksgiving dinner. Don’t try to maintain the same level of cleanliness that you are used to. Get used to fast food, dirty clothes and totally upset schedules. You have elected to live with a total stranger for the next 18 years. Allow yourself some time to adjust.