A Fussy Four-Week Old

     I’ve written articles on colic, sleep problems and fussy infants before (see Jan and May of this year and refer to the index in Dec 2012 for other listings). A call from the daughter of a friend prompted another article.

   For the first few weeks of his life, Max was a perfect baby. At four weeks, however, he began to get fussy. He would cry and scream, then settle down and even close his eyes when given something to suck on. But even if he fell asleep, he would only sleep a short time and then wake up screaming again.

     Whenever a baby isn’t acting normally, it is always a good idea to have him checked by his caregiver. Max had no fever, no vomiting, normal activity level and seemed to be healthy except for the continuous crying.

     Mom told me two important things: She had been told by a friend to wake him up in the morning and not let him sleep too long during the day so that he didn’t get his days and nights mixed up. She had also been told to never let him cry himself to sleep because he would feel abandoned.

     Some of our basic baby rules are: 1. Never wake up a sleeping baby. 2. Healthy babies cry either because they are hungry, wet or tired. 3.  Babies can need up to 18 hours of sleep a day. 4. Switching a fussy baby from a milk-based to a soy-based formula is always an easy, cheap thing parents can do and is often effective for “colic” because milk allergy is so common. 5. No matter how tired they are, babies (like all humans) don’t go to sleep right away when they lay down. Adults read, watch TV or listen to music to burn off that last bit of energy. Babies cry.

     Max is on a soy-based formula now. When he is crying, mom changes him, tries to feed him and, if he isn’t hungry, she rocks him a little to settle him down and then puts him in his crib and leaves the room. He is allowed to cry until mom can’t take it anymore. However, when mom goes in, she changes him, offers him some formula and, if he is still crabby, puts him right back in the crib. He and mom have had a few rough days getting adjusted but now he’s sleeping longer, he’s happy when he wakes up and mom says she “has her baby back”.

     Whenever someone tells you something that makes you feel guilty as a mother or just sounds silly, feel free to ignore it no matter whom the advice comes from.