Holding Kids Back In School

     There is a current fad fueled by a recent book that encourages parents to hold their children back from starting kindergarten if the child will be the “youngest in his class”. The reason given is that older children are more successful in both academics and athletics than their younger classmates. This is a fact: older children are able to comprehend more and they are bigger and more coordinated. Parents want to give their child an “edge” over the other kids by waiting an extra year to begin them in school.

     Decades ago, it was common practice to hold a child back a grade when his academic performance was deemed to be inferior to his classmates. The psychological problems created when a child saw his friends and classmates move ahead as he got left behind far outweighed any academic help the child received. Thankfully, this practice has been mostly abandoned.

     Almost every advantage gained by being the oldest child in your class can be matched by an equal-but-opposite disadvantage. Children are acutely aware of differences in themselves and other children. If a child is bigger than his classmates, he will be singled out – not necessarily in a good way. His athletic performance may be better, but athletic ability is a complex mixture of genetics, family culture and luck. The bigger child may end up just being bigger and suffering because of the difference. Parents who see their baseball-playing 6 year-old as a multimillion dollar-a-year future star are going to be disappointed. The older child may be more advanced academically but the boredom that results can lead to both acting out and dropping out. Being the last person in the class to drive may be a disadvantage, but being the first person in the class to drive certainly has its disadvantages, too.

     A child who has already started in a grade should never be held back.  If a pre-school child is born early in the year or after the school cut-off date, there is no problem. The best advice for parents whose child was born between June and September is to have as much information as possible about the local school and your child ‘s ability. Talk to the teacher who will be working with your child. What academic skills are necessary for success in that teacher’s class? What abilities do the most successful children entering that kindergarten have? Then ask yourself honestly if your child has those skills and abilities. If your child has those abilities, forget the younger/older, bigger/smaller debate and start the child on his way in school. Your love and support mean more to his success than the artificial “edge” of being older.